Before starting this particular blog post, I was reading one of the intuitive newsletters that I have subscribed to in my email inbox. At the very end of the article, they talked about how much of the goals they had already accomplished, halfway through the year.
I started to reminisce back to the time when I had high hopes for the new year, a new decade. I had created a list of all the things I wanted to personally accomplish by working for it throughout this entire year, as I am sure many others did. The whole ‘New Year, New Me’ cliche really kicked in this particular year, as the new decade added in some extra drive. In addition to the common goals such as working out, eating healthier, and not procrastinating, I had also wanted to do more activities for self-
care. At the beginning of the year, I had built up enough motivation to start working on my goals. After two weeks of exercising and staying productive, the school started to become more rigorous. I started to focus my time more on studying and finishing work for school, and somehow got so wrapped in it that I did not even think about the goals I was so motivated to do before. I made a more strict schedule for work so that I would be more consistent. It worked. I started to find the perfect balance between school and personal goals, and I was convinced that as long as I stuck with the schedule, I would do great.
Then arrived March, and unfortunately, along came the coronavirus. Emotions about what this virus has caused so far and how it personally affected me and my community can be found here in this other blog post: how the coronavirus has changed my community. However, in regards to accomplishing and working towards goals, the situation that came as a result of the coronavirus has been a roller coaster, to say the least.
At first, I realized that if I was going to thrive during quarantine, then I had to take advantage of all the extra free time and do my best to be productive. I had the mindset that ideally, I would come out of quarantine being the best version of myself. In the first few weeks, I brainstormed a bunch of ideas and found opportunities to work on and made sure everything I had worked on was something I truly cared about. However, overloading and high expectations within myself with procrastination did not give the best results.
After the first few weeks, I stopped holding myself accountable for not being productive. I would watch TV, listen to music, and talk with my sister. I would do anything and everything that did not fall under the category of “productive”. I told myself that it is summer after all and that I deserved the time off. Hours turned into days and days turned into weeks. As someone who struggles with procrastination a lot, putting off tasks for long periods of time is not the best idea. When I recognized that I was not acting according to plan, I started to stress out. Stressing out about not accomplishing the tasks that I said I would accomplish is something that happens all in our minds, and the stress leads to more defeat, which means more days of being lazy.
Eventually, I put on a more strict schedule and had my sister hold me accountable. I would then make sure I am doing the things I know I can achieve. While changing your habits and methods does not happen overnight, I believe in the motto that the actions you take every day towards your goals - whether it be small or big- all will add up to your personal success.
I believe that pulling yourself out of the overwhelming feelings and thoughts about your own flaws and imperfections is an act that takes a powerful lot of strength to do. Telling yourself that it is okay to have times when you are not acting according to the way you had initially wanted and that having those types of days is completely alright is important. Being imperfect and vulnerable to situations and ourselves is what makes each and every individual human, after all.
Sincerely,
Sahaana.
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